YOU MIGHT BE EMPLOYED BY A SCHOOL IF...
1. You believe the playground should be equipped with a Ritalin salt lick
2. You want to slap the next person that says
"Must be nice to work 8 to 3:20
and have summers off"
3. You can tell it's a full moon without ever looking outside.
4. You believe "shallow gene pool" should have its own box on the report card.
5. You believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if anyone says "Boy, the
kids sure are mellow today"
6. When out in public you feel the urge to snap your fingers at children you do
not know and correct their behavior
7. You have no social life between August and June.
8. Marking all A's on report cards would make your life SO much easier.
9. You think people should be required to get a government permit before being
allowed to reproduce.
10 You wonder how some parents ever MANAGED to reproduce.
11. You laugh uncontrollably when people refer to the staff room as the LOUNGE.
12. You encourage an obnoxious parent to check into charter schools or home schools
13. You can't have children because there's no NAME you can give your child that
wouldn't bring on HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE the moment you heard it uttered.
14. You think caffeine should be available in an intravenous form.
15. You know you are in for a major project when a parents says "I have a great
idea I'd like to discuss. I think it would be such fun".
16. Meeting a child's parent instantly answers the question "WHY IS THIS CHILD
LIKE THIS?"
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For Teachers Only
Comments
Re: For Teachers Only
by
Patrick
on Sun 19 Feb 2006 09:52 PM EST | Profile | Permanent Link
A man in a Florida supermarket tries to buy half a head of lettuce. The very young produce assistant tells him that they sell only whole heads of lettuce. The man persists and asks to see the manager.The boy says he'll ask his manager about it.
Walking into the back room, the boy said to his manager, "Some asshole wants to buy half a head of lettuce." As he finished his sentence, he turned to find the man standing right behind him, so he added, "And this gentleman has kindly offered to buy the other half." The manager approved the deal, and the man went on his way. Later the manager said to the boy, "I was impressed with the way you got yourself out of that situation earlier. We like people who think on their feet here. Where are you from, son?" Canada, sir," the boy replied. Well, why did you leave Canada?" the manager asked. The boy said, "Sir, there's nothing but whores and hockeyplayers up there." Really?" said the manager. "My wife is from Canada." No shit??" replied the boy. "Who'd she play for?" |
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