I recieved this & it was funny so I forwarded it. Then the real fun started! so I have posted all the comments I got so far & ask that you post yours HERE I am going to check this out on Snoops.com & I'll update as needed.

Subject: Airplane Humor



It takes a college degree to fly a plane but only a high school diploma to fix one: a reassurance for those of us who fly routinely in their jobs.



After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet”, which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft.



The mechanics correct the problems; document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.


Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor.



Here are some actual maintenance complaint s submitted by Qantas' Pilots (marked with a P) and the Solutions Recorded (marked with an S) By Maintenance Engineers.














By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident.












--------------------------------------------------------------------

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.










P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.










P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.










P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.










P: Auto pilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.










P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.










P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.












P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're for.










P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.












P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.












P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.












P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.












P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.












P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.












And The Best One For Last!!










P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget



In a message dated 9/13/06 12:31:42 PM Eastern Daylight Time, patnok1@gmail.com writes:

It takes a college degree to fly a plane

No, it doesn't. Private Pilot's license only requires 40 hours of instruction and solo practice (I completed the last of my 40 hours ON THE WAY to the flight exam in Lakeland), passing a written exam, and passing a flight test. I can't remember whether attending a formal "ground school" is mandatory or not. But there is no specific general education requirement such as graduation from high school or college.
Great joke, but marred slightly for those who know the opening sentence is a complete piece of fabricated fiction. (So how much of the rest of it is merely "fabricated fiction"? Uh...maybe....ALL of it?) V

Where do you get all this stuff. It was funny even if old. Mac

Ok I thought about this........ these refers to a commercial pilot so ...........I agree it is probily bs .....it has made the rounds a time or two........

Just FYI, commercial rating/instrument, jet ratings, the whole lot: No general education requirement. GRANTED: the smarter you are, the easier it is, and if you weren't bright/disciplined enough to graduate from high school, you probably aren't bright enough to get to instrument, let alone any of the rest of it.
My brother-in-law, a surgeon, and a cave-diving buddy, an electrical engineer, both expressed GREAT respect for the difficulty of both the flying and non-flying parts of instrument rating, and they're both certainly no dummies. But a bright person who couldn't afford and therefore didn't go to college could certainly master all the skills necessary for jet flight with the right amount of determination and discipline.
Now military pilots are (I think) all officers and a bachelor's degree is generally a prerequisite for officer candidacy. But that doesn't apply to civilian aviation. (It used to be you could always tell the former military pilots. They'd start transmissions with "Uh, Delta 704..." Sounded like they were shy or stuttering or something. But it was really because they were used to voice-activated mikes where the first syllable is always lost.)
The pedant now quits. :) --best, V

yes but there is a difference between the small plane private thing and the airliner thing too....mostly it's the landing as 9/11 taught us...so can we say then...it takes a college degree to land the airliner??? LOL

that quantas thing was so funny, thanks Rob


that airplane story it is funny no matter what so I might post it on my blog

also you know on any flight simulator program since 1985 (I had a Atari) you could fly into a building real headings & all easy BUT it was hard to make a soft landing.......most of the time I crashed ........flying was easy too...... I messed with that old computer for at least a year..... I wish I still had it a museum piece!

PiratePat